The Game+Sex and the City+Girlfriends= I will probably never date ever again

I just might never date again......and this is why.....

So..I am not a big fan of T.V. I don't even have one in my room. I try to keep it as far away as possible from me...until I started getting bored at my old job..WRONG. It all started one day when I was randomly watching B.E.T. I saw a marathon going on and I just thought.."Eh...why not. Seems like appropriate background noise while I work on stuff." I had also noticed the star of the show was Tia Mowry, which I love, and I thought it could probably be a good show. I started paying attention...and just like that! I got hooked! DAMN YOU KELSEY GRAMMER!!! (Oh yeah if you didn't know, that man is the producer of "The Game" and "Girlfriends". I saw that the other day and I was like.....WTF???REALLY?)

Stop it Frasier!

 

Anyways....well I love the show and it's awesomeness but then my morals and my better judgment kicked in. And then FAIL...the awesomeness was gone. Although I do love drama and all the bickering, the show    really is based on love. It's supposed to be a story of how the females who are involved in the professional football players "world" life is. Now...one character is the protective sassy ghetto momager..which is interesting and pretty clever. The other is a white woman who is married  with one of the football players. And the main character who is a med school student and also a girl friend of a new comer (Rookie) in the team. Everything seems awesome and the lifestyle is great, until I noticed one thing. THE MEN RULE...according to this show. The show is all about these women but it just seems that they all have to give up something to be with these men. The momager cant have a real life because of her son, the married one got divorced because her rich husband wouldn't give her a cent and just went insane after the break-up, and the med school student just got married, and never did her residency. Now... don't get me wrong, I know that we have to give up things in our life when we are in love, but god damn! These women just went crazy and gave in 100%. I don't want to enforce all of my feminist beliefs, but it just bothers me that in a show where we can show women that they can have it all...they take it all away and tie it with a little Louis Vuitton bag in exchange for giving your all to a man.

 EPIC FAIL.

Now on to Sex and the City....

I started watching this show ages ago, and I love it. It is perfect to put as background sounds when you go to sleep, lol. But for real, the show is about the bond between women and how to keep friendship alive. But just as I thought the show was 100% amazing, I noticed that women were taking this show as a "how to" guide. I started paying attention to the show and just thought...."Really? This is not what to do, this is what not to do." I do admire some of the relationships, but the situation the writers put Carey in...OMG....ridiculous! She is constantly saying that she wants real love but when she finds it, she goes crazy, leaving long voicemails with utterly no real words. I swear I lost maaaaaad respect for the show after so many years of watching it and seeing all of the dumb things just made me realize that all of these girls are submissive to anything that is "Real Love" or at least the idea of it. I will never view this show the same :(

Let's move on to my personal favorite...

 

"My girl friends...there through thick and thin..."

(Yeah ok, as every girl in this show hates on each other)

Okay now on this show, it is a little bit diverse because each girl is in a different financial state, they all come from different backgrounds but all of them come together with two topics...men and making your friends jealous. These ladies all work hard and yet when one of them has a boy friend, the other feels jealous and feels the need to be a bickering woman.  One of these women is a lawyer, the other a single mother trying to go back to school, one is a hippie still trying to "find" herself and writes documentaries, and the other in a real estate agent. All of these women have a purpose, but yet they will drop it all to have "the perfect man" and would do anything to make their friends jealous, or would leave their girls to be with their men. 

Honestly I watch these shows because they make me laugh, and they are super super scandalous, but it just hurts my feelings that they promote that women should change it all for a man, and that friends are there to be your counselors, but yet you can easily dip on them when your man needs you. These shows make women look extremely needy and make us look like we need 100% support from our men. It upsets me that this is how America seems to view our women. Whether being a med student, a writer, or a lawyer, we still need a man next to us to define us....Sounds ridiculous right???? Ughhhh fail.

Fashion's Night Out!

Manny and I cheesing HARD!

On September 8^th, 2011, was one of fashions most important night out. It’s a night where fashion comes to life and people get to express their personality without having to say a word. The streets all over the world in fashion capitals were full of style and music while people celebrate individuality. Might I add… I am not just talking about fashion week my friends. All the rage on September 8^th was about Fashion’s Night Out! Yes people get with it. Are you confused yet? I thought so. Let me educate you about the importance of this awesome night. Fashion’s Night Out was created to show the season’s latest fashions at many participating stores in different cities. It was created in 2009 to help out with the recession and since then stores took advantage and held great sales on that specific day. Stores stay open late while the city swarms with fashion lovers…oh and did I mention they offer drinks and DJ’s while you shop! Seriously it’s like you’re in the club while you shop. Overall it is a crazy and fun experience.



Trying to steal the camera @ Lomography lol.

Please enjoy our creepified picture/mirror

                I wanted to see what all the rage was about with Manuel Zavaleta (look him up on the Style Engineers page on FB and make sure you hit “LIKE”!) and I have to say we both had a great time. Our first visit was Lomography. We had a great time looking at the unique cameras and the film that was posted as artwork on the walls. Honestly these people are good; they make me want to buy a camera just because it looked sooooo damn cutie. We also got a change to walk into a Sephora in Union Square where we got a silly picture taken(courtesy of GLO teeth whitener) and they made it into a funny mirror, which you’d best believe I’ll harass Manny to see if he’s carrying it around!   After that we roamed the streets with the rest of the people and just absorbed in all of the craziness that is Manhattan. I mean NYC is not a normal place by all means, but the streets were just so crowded and riots were formed all over the place (in the name of fashion of course). I was able to document the craziness. (Please enjoy the mini vid that will be added on by the end of the night...I promise!).We took plenty of pictures, enjoyed many laughs (at the walking fashion “DON’TS”) and definitely hope to attend next year.  Good job FNO organizers, the event was a total success.  

  

Please enjoy my badly edited and recorded clip of FNO :)

Enjoy The awesome/random assortments of pictures <3

@ Lomography

@ Sephora

The cutest Vespa ever! I wants it!

The crazy crowd @ Dash... Oh those Kardashian's

<3 Besos

Guy at a bar-"So where you from?" Me- "JC Chilltown kid, smart!"

Oh Jersey City! I have left you once in 2009! But I swear, my dear, I will never leave you again! Your diverse people, horrible roads, and awesome cuisine! I promise I will never leave again!!! (Until I start making mega dollaz yo!) But for real...I love this place and my new apartment. Oh you didn't know I moved? Well now you do....GET WITH THE PROGRAM!

My new roomie...this might end ugly since she agreed to take this pic. (RIPS LEASE)

So now I am a Jersey City kid with Lisi Vasquez and life has been pretty awesome. I am officially out of the land of Somerset, NJ. Woop Woop! Lisi and I moved in July 5th (officially) after so many epic encounters. We were searching for so many different places, until we walked into the only apartment that provided no photo on the sketchy craigslist website. When we first walked in, we were a little scared because the entrance was odd. But as we continued our tour, we fell in love! The place is quirky, odd, and confused, kinda like us. It.Was.Perfecto. I honestly feel sooo glad to live here :)

As for my job sitch...I got this. Oh why you may ask? Because I also have a new job!!! Yupp errithang new boo boo!!! Yeah I am now employed by the Hyatt Place in Secaucus, and I have to say I love it. Everyone I work with is pretty cool and I totally enjoy their spirit. They accept my silliness and the way I talk, so I totally accept them, We can now be friends....Smart. 

I am also now going to school at Bloomfield College and I have to say, I heart it with a smile. I know this is just puppy love and eventually I will regret what I am saying, but I am just so glad to be back in school. The only thing I dont appreciate is the fact that I am 100000 years old next to these kids. I am surrounded by 17 &18 year olds that have just moved into a dorm and just recently happened to learn the ABC's...and possibly how to wipe their booty. HAHA..no but for realy. My professor told us the other day to have a great weekend and to not get too drunk. And then he followed by.."Ha just kidding! You kids are too young to drink!" And everyone started laughing, and I joined in with a nervous smile, since I am a 21 year old fossil. Lame.


Well that pretty much sums up my life of awesomeness. Life is good and sweet and even though I am still poverty, I will be ok, because I have all of these new elements to keep me happy. Keepin it real like Nene Leaks always...and besos :*

This isn't me..or it wasn't me, but now I guess it is.

So I haven't written in my blog in a while, but I do have to be more committed to my work! Ughhh I hate being a lazy bum! lol. But besides all that, my life hasn't been very interesting. Everything has been going pretty good, which is awesome, but there are some things that just keep on occurring (in my dreams that is) that is just bothering me.

Note- I am guessing the producers are getting bored..so they at least need to plug something in my dreams! lol

So here's the dilio. My love life is going down toilette. I honestly believe that one day I will just split and BAM! We gots a baby. I am not trying to do the whole typical "I hate men!" rant; I am just simply thinking that I am not interested. Now don't get me wrong, I am not switching to the dark side, but legit I think something is wrong. I think I have just lost a lot of interest and I can't seem to get myself to even picking up the phone when a boy is calling. What is wrong with me?!?

So I have been having these crazy dreams lately that all have to do with my ex. It is crazy because when everything ended between us, I apologized so much and I wanted closure. But I never officially got it neither did I EVER get an apology. Our relationship was toxic, but eventually I knew when it was time to leave. And even when I tried to get away, he would still try to talk to me. I have officially blocked his number, stopped talking to our mutual friends, blocked him on facebook, email everything! I am even avoiding picking up unknown numbers and yet his spirit still follows me. It has been over a year since we have been over and yet it is still not OVER. What gets me is that all of these dreams that I have been having include him saying “I’m sorry". I don’t think I will ever get that, and I am not expecting it, but whyyy???? I mean I am over him, I know who he is, but I think the pain still lingers, and it is evolving into me resenting love, or at least the possibility of it.

Like I said, this is not an "I hate men" rant, but lately I have been feeling like I just don't need men. I am happy by myself. I got into a great school with an amazing scholarship. I will be moving to Jersey City with my friends soon. I am in the process of buying a car. Things are just going into place and for once, I am in control. So I think to myself “What is there not to love? No wonder I want to be alone!" lol I know this is mega selfish and maybe even a little wierd, but I am just loving myself and feeling happy about life. But I am just getting worried that since I am having issues with my past and getting over things, it is intervening with my feelings towards men. I am 21 and I am at that age where I should be having fun, talking to many boys, or at least want to have a "special somebody". What I have been feeling is, "I just wanna party with my friends..hold on let me just cancel on him." "Oh god that guy is calling again (ignore button)." "Oh that guy is sending a drink, I don't want it, and send that shit back because then I'll have to talk to him." "Ahhh he is texting me talking about he loves my eyes, ughhh why is he so cheesy!!!!!!" "Ha! I am sure you say that shit to every girl." Or my personal favorite "Oh you want to go to dinner? Ummm I mean it's only sex, not that serious."

 Seriously, I have either become a "Bro" or I am just fucked up in the head....what is that shit? I mean I am just concerned because this wasn't me, but I am afraid it is now. I used to want to be with someone. Want to hold hands, kiss, be all lovey dovey, try to be romantic, or even fantasize about having a great boy friend. But now I just want to be alone, don't want to be bothered, and I get annoyed when I see all of these annoying couples together. (I don't mean to be a hater but god damn let yourself breathe!) I just don't think I would ever be ready to call my life ours and I am just not ready to change my life for anyone. I don't want to tell anyone where I am going, what I am doing, splitting up holidays, dealing with jealousy, or even having to cling on to another person for some type of support, because I've got me!

It's just crazy because it's not who I used to be, it's not who I want to be, but this is who I have become. Hopefully I stop having these dreams so I can officially stop having these "commitment" issues and I can finally let someone in, because seriously shits getting pretty crazy.

And I dont want to become this-->

Ok next week my post will be lighter I promise. I just wanted to vent because I know my friends are tired of listening to my ridiculous/unexplainable issues :)

Besos :*

Meeting People In Real Life VS. Online Dating

 
Love has gotten so weird now a days and it's just not possible for people to even identify whats the best way to meet someone. Between hanging out at bars, going to friends weddings, even walking down the street, one hopes to find "The One" at some random moment where you just make eye contact and BAM! Love was found. But of course we don't live on an LA set for a movie, so legit, love is a little bit more complicating than what we expected. So where do people go find love now a days? The Internet of course! I mean it makes sense to some extent. We use to to find what we need no matter how rare the item is, to find answers to questions that we cannot answer ourselves, and it is conveniently placed at the palm of our hands. All in all, the "easiest" way to find love. It's no Romeo and Juliet, it's no Cleopatra and Mark Antony, and it's definitely noooo Holly Golightly and Paul Varjak, but what we believed to be love has transformed into this little screen that we can either place it on a desk, lap, or palm. Now the question is...is it really L-O-V-E?

Online Dating:

Now you never know how this is going to go. It looks normal but when you translate it, this is normally  what it comes down to:

Sammi "Ready to find Love"

Age: 25

Location: San Diego, California

Ethnicity: Italian, German, and Polish

Sign: Capricorn

Religion: Catholic

Occupation: I work at a law office.

Interest: I love to read and rest at home. I occasionally go out with my girl friends, but I really am a home body. I like movies and long walks on the beach.

Looking For: Love! I have been single for a couple of weeks, and I am looking for a real connection. I want a man that I can snuggle with and enjoy a great afternoon, and maybe build a future together.

In Reality....

Samantha "I need someone to touch me!!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Age: 30...ish

Location: Chula Vista, California (Kinda close to a major city....I guess)

Ethnicity: Who am I kidding..I was born in the US, those other ethnicity's were from far relatives.

Sign: Capricorn (Like as if this matters)

Religion: I haven't been to church since that little exorcism incident.

Occupation: I work in the mail room in my uncles law office because no one would hire me

Interest: I LOOOOVEEEEE to snuggle with my cats! I hang out with them 24/7. I have no friends...

Looking For: Someone to share my love of cats!

Hear me out..

I am not trying to say that everything online is fake, because I have heard a lot of sucess stories. But I think of online dating kinda like buying a car on Ebay.com. Seems awesome and so easy find, until you buy it, and then you get a BMFuckU rather than a BMW. I'm just saying...shit can get freaky.

        Meeting People Outside of the Web: AKA- A bar or whateverss:

       

Now this can be can great place to meet a person...if you wanna get LAID! lol no but for real though. It is natural to meet someone at a bar, but it is soooooo difficult to establish A.) If this person is cute because your totally WASTED. B.) If this person is a serial killer. or C.) Is this person really trying to get to know me, or trying to have sexy times?? 

It is so hard to see what it is that this person wants when they meet you because you are at a bar, and you can't ask questions like an online dater can. 

You can't ask:

"What are your life goals? Are you looking for a relationship? Are you looking to get serious?"

 But you can ask:

"So what do you wanna drink? Are you here with your friends tonight? (Or my personal fav) Do you like sausage with your eggs in the morning?"

It is all so confusing and can lead to mixed signals, while the online dater can easily pick who they want to talk to, and find out what they are looking for. So my question to the world is..Which one is best? I mean I know they both have a lot of pros and cons, but which one really benefits the heart? I am personally not trying to fall in love right now, but online dating is getting insane, and and I just wanna know...
What's all the fuss about finding love? And in the pursuit if it, why is it so difficult???

"Dr. T.J. Eckleburg's Eyes Are Always Watching Over the Valley of Reality"

     I decided I should get some reading into my life, since I don't want to talk like a complete idiot when it comes to conversations with people other than my friends. I also needed something to occupy my mind and keep me from worrying about my own troubles. So I picked up The Great Gatsby and got my reading on. Little did I know that this book would probably make me a tad bit more depressed than real life alone...fail. So what do I do, I watch the movie version... even bigger fail.

     For most of you that don't know, "The Great Gastby" is a very depressing story about a man (Gastby) who fell madly in love with the character Daisy. They were together for sometime, he went off to war, and Daisy was tired of waiting so she marries some rich dude. Gatsby comes back, she is gone, so in attempt to get her back, he spends 5 years doing some crooked work to make money fast, get a beautiful home, and move across a lake from her, to win her love of course. So he throws all of these crazy parties to see if one day she would appear. Epic failllllll!!! because Daisy never shows up. So the narrator of the story, Nick, is telling us all of this depressing shenanigans, and gets mixed up in Gastby's story because he is actually the bait to bring Daisy in, since he's known her for years. He brings them together, they have an affair, while all along Daisy's man had his little shiz on the side. But then one day everything goes wrong because Daisy's husband caught on, he kicks her out, Daisy is with Gatsby in his car driving and BAM! coincidentally runs over the woman who is having the affair with her husband and kills her! Eventually Daisy's husband tells his mistress's husband it was Gatsby rather that admitting it was his wife driving. Daisy and her man get back together, the mistress husband kills Gatsby and himself out of revenge and pity for himself, and no one goes to Gatsby's funeral. The irony is that Gatsby's house was always full of people with his parties, and yet no one was there to pay their respects, not even the selfish Daisy.

     So in conclusion, Gastby is dead, Daisy is back with her wealthy man, and apparently the narrator Nick was the only one that felt pity for the "head over heals in love" Gatsby.

     All in all, despite its depressing antics, the novel is loaded with magnificent symbolism that does make you have a depth on the realness of Gatsby's loneliness, Daisy's selfishness and wealthiness, and also helps you reflect back on your own life, while Dr. T.J. Eckleburg watches over you in the valley of the ashes where all dreams come to wake up and die. The book shows a great deal of realisim. That even with all of the decked out parties and wealth, you have nothing, because you use materials to fill in the spot for love, and when we find love, we freak the fuck out. Oh American Idealism!

                                                 

Thanks Mr. Fitzgerald!
So much for reading to make me feel better.... ughhhh FML

<3 My reader
:* Besos

Don't you just hate it when you get asked to pay for someones GED? Oh I am the only one....FAIL

 

     So I haven't written in a while, but I am back on track, and expect to read more about my silliness/bored at work scenarios. I have been getting my personal life together and trying to make awesome plans of life with my gay lovers of life Lisi and Amanda. It's all so hard, but I have managed to take the stuff that drives me crazy to think of some great concepts for a youtube channel. I am one of the funniest people I know... yes don't judge me I love myself...also I am probably the most cynical person around, in an awesome kinda way, because I can give to shits what the issue is about, trust and believe I will judge! I also feel like the funny things I go through just have to be documented as, "Don't you hate it when... (scenarios)" because seriously that's what my life is! No joke. So as my first "Don't you hate it when....(scenario)" will be my favorite pick from last week as I went shopping with my girl Lisi at Burlington Coat Factory for some shoes... Please enjoy :)

CAN I GET A G-E-D??

"Good Enough Diploma"-Chris Rock

So my friend and I went shopping to get some shoes for an awesome night of partying in the city @ Latin Quater. Now best believe, I knew that night would be epic, which it was, but nothing tripped me out like our shopping experience. It was a small millisecond of my life and and this would only happen to me because I swear I am on The Truman Show, but seriously producers, take it easy, its getting extreme and just a little to obvious! So we are looking at shoes, and my friend was trying on some cute pumps. We are conversating about life, and mind you I am leaning on the stands for the shoes, wearing a coat, holding both of our purses, and chillin like a villain. Some woman comes up to me and says hello in a very cheerful voice. I thought "That's odd, no one does that in America, RAPE! Stop it Perla she is just saying hi, just say hi back!" She then continues talking in a very low voice, and I look at her pretty confused. I then start thinking, "Does she think I work here? I don't even have a name tag. But I am chillen like a villain, wtf? I even have my coat on, wtf, I don't work here lady!". So I stop looking confused and ask her, "I am sorry, do you need something?" She repeats her sentence again, and this time it sounded like she asked where she can take the test for her G.E.D. I was like "WTF???". I told her I have no idea where she can take it, with a very odd look on my face. She then repeats herself and asks, "Can you pay for my G.E.D test."

Pause

WTF DO I LOOK LIKE SOME SUGA DADDY? STOP IT LADY!

     I just looked at her even more confused than before. Seriiioouuuusssssslllyyy lady??? Is this what my life has come down to? I can't! Anyways, I just told her, " Um, no." with this very confused look on my face. I mean I felt that was appropriate to say. I guess... So she walks away and my friend looks at me maaaaad confused. I give her this funny look I always do when some random shit happens to me, and ask her "Is she gone?" My friend says yes and I just blur out like I was holding my breath! I told her what happened and we really looked at each other like, "Where are the producers?" lol. I sometimes question Lisi if she is in on my "Truman Show" craziness. She denies it. I think she's the producer/creator/director/full blown out owner of my show. FAIL because I will be moving in with her soon. She will get awesome ratings now... and have some Bill Gates monayyyy!

But seriously, what posses a person want to come up to you, at Burlington Coat Factory, to ask you to pay for their test! Not even, "Hey, do you have any spare change, I am saving up for my G.E.D. and I desperately need help", no! Her asking me, "Can you pay for my G.E.D. test", translated into "Bitch pay ma shizzzzz." Sorry boo, I got bills to pay :p

Ok guys tune in next week I will have a silly video for you guys. Love you lots for reading, and by you I mean Lisi because you are my only reader...FAIL

                                                                    Besos :*



And the Winner is........

"I have made up my mind. California here I come!"

     It hit me when I was at home after my parents came back from Dominican Republic. They were talking about how happy they were out there, and how they want to rush back. And all I could think was....I need to find happiness too.

     Most of you don't know my story and why I am in this situation in life where it has been sooo confusing trying to figure out that to do with myself. Here's a short synopses of why I am here.

• I finished high school and got nooooo help from my parents for college (which made me not go to the school I wanted to go)
• I ended up going to a school I didn't like and I moved to Jersey City.
• I switched schools and ended up going to SAE to study Audio Engineering (which was the only good thing)
• I met my ex....EPIC FAIL.
• I moved to DC to work after I was done with school, and things were looking up.
• My father got extremely ill, so I dropped everything and came back home to help.
• My ex and I broke up.
• Epic sibling rivery.
• Epic arguments with my parents.
• Had a hard time finding a job that I enjoyed.
• Found a job, that I hate.
• I was stuck between family drama, running away from relationships, and hating where I am in life!

So my next step is saving up my dollaz, going out to cali in April to take my placement test, registering for classes, planning where to live, and making huge moves. I feel happier and very excited for this new chapter in my life. I am happy here close to all my friends and family but everyone is making their own path and I just have to learn to pave mines.

I was so scared to disappoint anyone with my decision, but I have to concentrate on what I want and I have to be myself and believe in me that where my heart is going is the right way. I have been using my brain to make all of my decisions but now I want to finally follow my heart. Cali here I come!

The Golden State Vs. The Garden State...can we just glue them together?

So the past 2 &1/2 years has been the most epic and rough years I have ever had. Between trying to figure out what I wanted to do after high school, moving all over the place, attending 1000000 establishments, family issues, relationship failure, and then ending up where it all began, the Jerz! I was stuck in one place at one job that I don't even like with no opportunities or options, but all of this just brought me to at least this conclusion...I NEED TO GET AWAY..... So What shall I do? Pack my shit and run.

I thought it would do me some good to get away and try something new and find a whole new environment. Coincidentally, my bffl of life, Lisi, was going through the same thing. We both wanted to escape the Somerset, NJ area for our own personal reasons, and also make some new adventures. We are both going through that...."Well I went to school...what do I do now with this piece of paper saying I accomplished something??" Her friend Amanda was going through the same thing, so we thought, "Lets join forces and live together in Jersey City. 20 min from New York City, cheap rent, and a whole lot of opportunities...lets do this!" So we automatically start harassing Craigslist for home and jobs. I was feeling better than ever and excited to start a new positive chapter in my life. I am young, single, no kids, NOTHING holding me back....But then as I feel that life is coming into place and I actually have an exciting option and a new adventure with my friends, another window of opportunity opens (and by window I mean a huge ass hole was punched in the wall the size of an airplane).

My friends and I we experiencing the same issues of trying to find a job near Jersey City, so out of desperation, I called my mentor (who is an awesome audio engineer in the city) in hopes for him to have an open opportunity of any job at a recording studio. At this point I would even clean toilets in the studio, just as long as I was close to a console and some awesome music. When I called him to beg for any job, he regretfully tells me, "Sweety, if I had a job, you would be the first person I would hire, but at this point studios are closing down rather than hiring." My spirits were quickly shut down and then he tells me, "I was actually going to call you this week. I received some of your college paperwork here at my office. Some places responded, and you got into 3 awesome schools that are affiliated with your last school." I then ask him, "Soooooo...where did I get in?" (as i cross my fingers hoping it was some awesome place close to Jersey City) He then tells me (20 min later since he had to search through his messy desk)..."Ok...you got into Berkeley, UCLA, and Pierce College. Congrats!" I sit there quietly and start pondering.....Berkeley (Berkeley, CA) UCLA (Los Angeles, CA) Pierce College ( Woodland Hills, CA). CALIFORNIA???? Wtf, I applied for those places but I totally forgot about them. I honestly didn't even think I would get into all of them, but HOTDAMNNNNNN!!!! So this news is amazing and I am jumping up and down out of excitement...but now I think.....where does this leave my original plans and direction???

<Seriously.....

Now....since I originally had no options, I know i should be more gratefull and and be happy that I actually have somewhere to go and that I am not stuck with 100000 kids on a farm. But now I am torn in between. How do you pick from living with awesome people and finding new adventures in life, or going to school (which I want to go for Communications(Broadcasting)/ Journalism-goes with my Audio Engineer Certification). I dont know...so now I shall present you with this....

Going to California?

PROS

-I get to go to school and be a real person.

-A new environment and adventure that I have been looking for.

-Beach!!!!

- I got a partial scholarship.

-I will be surrounded in broadcasting central (more opportunities after graduation)

-It is affiliated with my last school, bachelors in 2 years...Pimp.

CONS

-SCARY.

-6 hour flight.

-I will be away from everyone that I love.

-I run a risk of fucking up.

-If I do fuck up...who do I run to?

-I have less than a week to decide whether I am going.

-My friends probably can't get the awesome place we want.

-Loneliness.

Staying Home?

PROS

-I get to move to Jersey City with my girlies.

-I will be like 30 min from my family.

-Eventually I will got to to school closer to home.

-I won't be alone.

- I get to live in a pimped out house with my girls.

-Eventually I can continue looking for an audio engineer job in the city that I wont hate.

CONS

-What if I get comfortable and dont go to school?

-I don't want to ask, "What if?" if something goes wrong.

-And what if I am still unhappy?

-What if I can't find a job close by?

-I HATE my current job, I really don't want to be here.



So World, what do I do? I am sure god was sick and tired of hearing me complaing and being emo, and said, "You wanna complain? I'll give you something to complain about bitch!" It is sooooo difficult, because either way, my options are awesome, but I just cant weigh them out. I know where my heart is leading towards, but my brain is pointing somewhere else. Until I can come to a conclusion.... I am whipping out my Krazy Glue and making plans of forming Jerseyfornia.



So my friend and I went out for some sushi... FAIL

 

The Sushi Disaster

As most of my friends know, I am an extremely picky eater, but I will not be the childish imbecile to yell  out ewwwwwwwww when I get introduced to something very unfamiliar. My diet mainly consist of mainly chicken... and I like it very much, but there is always that one person that does the huge mistake of saying, "What? You only eat chicken? Oh no but you gotta try this, you don't know what your missing!". When in reality, I do know what I am missing, because I ate it once and almost puked my brains out and I have no desire to try it again. But despite all of that someone always wants to push me to try something new, so I end up giving in, and regretting my life.....

So that one person who pushed me to the threshold of trying something new was my unfortunate friend Ismael. I know he meant well and had all the best intentions, but he did not know what he was getting himself into. We had planned a while ago to hang out, and we officially got together late last night. He comes to pick me up and asks me..."So...what you wanna do?" He was pretty hungry, but I had already devoured some Mexican food prior to meeting him with my bffl.  (btw I had the most amazing flautas in the whole world, it was pretty extreme. )

So he decides that he wants to eat some sushi (and in my opinion I wouldn't call it eating sushi, I would call it tasting some raw fish). I look at him and clearly say, "Ok we can go, but I wont eat anything, I don't like sushi anyway so it's cool." He then tells me, "Whhhhaaaaaaaatttt?? How can you not like sushi? It's so good! No, I am taking you to this one spot that they make the best sushi, you are going to love it." I continued telling him that it is no hope, I have already made up my mind about sushi and all of it's weirdness, but he proceeded with his little hopeful wish of converting me to the dark side, and drove me all the way to North Bergen, NJ to have the "best sushi ever". Now if I have mentioned this yet, North Bergen is 53 min away from Somerset, NJ (which is where I live) and it was 12:00AM. So off we go on this epic trip for food that I don't even like....53 MIN LATER AND MANY TOLLS AHEAD.....

We get to the location and it was a very beautiful place. Ismael orders his fish remains, , and proceeds to order mines, even though we fought about it 20x in the car. As we wait for the "fish tasting" (that costs like $12.00 a pop) I decided to mess with his mind a little about sushi just to laugh a little and crack some jokes...which backfired horrifically. I didn't think our conversation would take this route..but it lead to an epic mess (which the discussion lasted about 40 min...why does it take that long to roll up some suuush??).

So I start off by looking at the sushi chef and laughing a little because he looked so evil, and for some reason he had a top hat (non traditional I know). But I have a little history with top hats...please read this blog and you will understand.... (http://feelitinyourspirit.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-figured-devil-knew-how-to-fist.html). The chef looked so evil back there with the hibachi fire gliding around him, and I pointed it out to Ismael so he could laugh a little. Then I said "He looks so evil, almost like he is thinking...HAHAHA silly Americans! eat my over priced scam!" I continued to laugh, and then Ismael looks at me and says, "Why is it a scam?" And I said, " Well I mean think of it this way, sushi can barley fill you up when your starving. I feel like it can hardly fill up a child. Its crazy small and is so expensive! It has to be the best scam ever! They don't have to pay for gas, its raw, its cooked up rice with nooooooo seasoning. All they have to do is roll it up. And on top of that you don't even get real utensils!!!! They give you super cheap chop sticks made out of wood!!!"

Now I though what I was saying was hilarious, just a funny little joke. I continued laughing, and Ismael was turning red....(Mind you he is super tan, it was sooooo funny to watch him all red.) He looks at me with the most upset look on his face. It made me laugh a little, because I felt like I hit a nerve, and things were about to get interesting. He then tells me, "You shouldn't be making fun on sushi. I don't laugh at you just because you only eat chicken. You need to grow up Pearls. Seriously I like sushi and you are just offending me right now."

THIS WAS WHAT MADE MY NIGHT

Definition of OFFEND

intransitive verb

1

a : to transgress the moral or divine law : sin <if it be a sin to covet honor, I am the most offending soul alive — Shakespeare> b : to violate a law or rule : do wrong <offend against the law>

2

a : to cause difficulty, discomfort, or injury <took off his shoe and removed the offending pebble> b : to cause dislike, anger, or vexation <thoughtless words that offend needlessly>

I just looked at him and said, "Offending you??? Really?? Wow it's not that serious. I was just trying to make some jokes. Tayke essi men!"( take it easy man, in my Mexican voice) I continued to laugh and then the food arrives and I just look at this tiny sushi and him...some how, it makes me laugh just a tad bit more, hysterically at this point. I then look at this manly Dominican man grab this tiny fish specimen with his huge hands and I laugh so hard that I dropped my tea! He just looks up at me with hatred...and continues to finish his little meal (which he finished in 4 minuets btw)


ISMAEL'S LESSON LEARNED...
*Never force me to eat shit I don't like.
*Sushi is a scam.
*I am 5.
*Chicken always beats fish, no comparison.