So my friend and I went out for some sushi... FAIL

 

The Sushi Disaster

As most of my friends know, I am an extremely picky eater, but I will not be the childish imbecile to yell  out ewwwwwwwww when I get introduced to something very unfamiliar. My diet mainly consist of mainly chicken... and I like it very much, but there is always that one person that does the huge mistake of saying, "What? You only eat chicken? Oh no but you gotta try this, you don't know what your missing!". When in reality, I do know what I am missing, because I ate it once and almost puked my brains out and I have no desire to try it again. But despite all of that someone always wants to push me to try something new, so I end up giving in, and regretting my life.....

So that one person who pushed me to the threshold of trying something new was my unfortunate friend Ismael. I know he meant well and had all the best intentions, but he did not know what he was getting himself into. We had planned a while ago to hang out, and we officially got together late last night. He comes to pick me up and asks me..."So...what you wanna do?" He was pretty hungry, but I had already devoured some Mexican food prior to meeting him with my bffl.  (btw I had the most amazing flautas in the whole world, it was pretty extreme. )

So he decides that he wants to eat some sushi (and in my opinion I wouldn't call it eating sushi, I would call it tasting some raw fish). I look at him and clearly say, "Ok we can go, but I wont eat anything, I don't like sushi anyway so it's cool." He then tells me, "Whhhhaaaaaaaatttt?? How can you not like sushi? It's so good! No, I am taking you to this one spot that they make the best sushi, you are going to love it." I continued telling him that it is no hope, I have already made up my mind about sushi and all of it's weirdness, but he proceeded with his little hopeful wish of converting me to the dark side, and drove me all the way to North Bergen, NJ to have the "best sushi ever". Now if I have mentioned this yet, North Bergen is 53 min away from Somerset, NJ (which is where I live) and it was 12:00AM. So off we go on this epic trip for food that I don't even like....53 MIN LATER AND MANY TOLLS AHEAD.....

We get to the location and it was a very beautiful place. Ismael orders his fish remains, , and proceeds to order mines, even though we fought about it 20x in the car. As we wait for the "fish tasting" (that costs like $12.00 a pop) I decided to mess with his mind a little about sushi just to laugh a little and crack some jokes...which backfired horrifically. I didn't think our conversation would take this route..but it lead to an epic mess (which the discussion lasted about 40 min...why does it take that long to roll up some suuush??).

So I start off by looking at the sushi chef and laughing a little because he looked so evil, and for some reason he had a top hat (non traditional I know). But I have a little history with top hats...please read this blog and you will understand.... (http://feelitinyourspirit.blogspot.com/2010/12/i-figured-devil-knew-how-to-fist.html). The chef looked so evil back there with the hibachi fire gliding around him, and I pointed it out to Ismael so he could laugh a little. Then I said "He looks so evil, almost like he is thinking...HAHAHA silly Americans! eat my over priced scam!" I continued to laugh, and then Ismael looks at me and says, "Why is it a scam?" And I said, " Well I mean think of it this way, sushi can barley fill you up when your starving. I feel like it can hardly fill up a child. Its crazy small and is so expensive! It has to be the best scam ever! They don't have to pay for gas, its raw, its cooked up rice with nooooooo seasoning. All they have to do is roll it up. And on top of that you don't even get real utensils!!!! They give you super cheap chop sticks made out of wood!!!"

Now I though what I was saying was hilarious, just a funny little joke. I continued laughing, and Ismael was turning red....(Mind you he is super tan, it was sooooo funny to watch him all red.) He looks at me with the most upset look on his face. It made me laugh a little, because I felt like I hit a nerve, and things were about to get interesting. He then tells me, "You shouldn't be making fun on sushi. I don't laugh at you just because you only eat chicken. You need to grow up Pearls. Seriously I like sushi and you are just offending me right now."

THIS WAS WHAT MADE MY NIGHT

Definition of OFFEND

intransitive verb

1

a : to transgress the moral or divine law : sin <if it be a sin to covet honor, I am the most offending soul alive — Shakespeare> b : to violate a law or rule : do wrong <offend against the law>

2

a : to cause difficulty, discomfort, or injury <took off his shoe and removed the offending pebble> b : to cause dislike, anger, or vexation <thoughtless words that offend needlessly>

I just looked at him and said, "Offending you??? Really?? Wow it's not that serious. I was just trying to make some jokes. Tayke essi men!"( take it easy man, in my Mexican voice) I continued to laugh and then the food arrives and I just look at this tiny sushi and him...some how, it makes me laugh just a tad bit more, hysterically at this point. I then look at this manly Dominican man grab this tiny fish specimen with his huge hands and I laugh so hard that I dropped my tea! He just looks up at me with hatred...and continues to finish his little meal (which he finished in 4 minuets btw)


ISMAEL'S LESSON LEARNED...
*Never force me to eat shit I don't like.
*Sushi is a scam.
*I am 5.
*Chicken always beats fish, no comparison.