The Golden State Vs. The Garden State...can we just glue them together?

So the past 2 &1/2 years has been the most epic and rough years I have ever had. Between trying to figure out what I wanted to do after high school, moving all over the place, attending 1000000 establishments, family issues, relationship failure, and then ending up where it all began, the Jerz! I was stuck in one place at one job that I don't even like with no opportunities or options, but all of this just brought me to at least this conclusion...I NEED TO GET AWAY..... So What shall I do? Pack my shit and run.

I thought it would do me some good to get away and try something new and find a whole new environment. Coincidentally, my bffl of life, Lisi, was going through the same thing. We both wanted to escape the Somerset, NJ area for our own personal reasons, and also make some new adventures. We are both going through that...."Well I went to school...what do I do now with this piece of paper saying I accomplished something??" Her friend Amanda was going through the same thing, so we thought, "Lets join forces and live together in Jersey City. 20 min from New York City, cheap rent, and a whole lot of opportunities...lets do this!" So we automatically start harassing Craigslist for home and jobs. I was feeling better than ever and excited to start a new positive chapter in my life. I am young, single, no kids, NOTHING holding me back....But then as I feel that life is coming into place and I actually have an exciting option and a new adventure with my friends, another window of opportunity opens (and by window I mean a huge ass hole was punched in the wall the size of an airplane).

My friends and I we experiencing the same issues of trying to find a job near Jersey City, so out of desperation, I called my mentor (who is an awesome audio engineer in the city) in hopes for him to have an open opportunity of any job at a recording studio. At this point I would even clean toilets in the studio, just as long as I was close to a console and some awesome music. When I called him to beg for any job, he regretfully tells me, "Sweety, if I had a job, you would be the first person I would hire, but at this point studios are closing down rather than hiring." My spirits were quickly shut down and then he tells me, "I was actually going to call you this week. I received some of your college paperwork here at my office. Some places responded, and you got into 3 awesome schools that are affiliated with your last school." I then ask him, "Soooooo...where did I get in?" (as i cross my fingers hoping it was some awesome place close to Jersey City) He then tells me (20 min later since he had to search through his messy desk)..."Ok...you got into Berkeley, UCLA, and Pierce College. Congrats!" I sit there quietly and start pondering.....Berkeley (Berkeley, CA) UCLA (Los Angeles, CA) Pierce College ( Woodland Hills, CA). CALIFORNIA???? Wtf, I applied for those places but I totally forgot about them. I honestly didn't even think I would get into all of them, but HOTDAMNNNNNN!!!! So this news is amazing and I am jumping up and down out of excitement...but now I think.....where does this leave my original plans and direction???

<Seriously.....

Now....since I originally had no options, I know i should be more gratefull and and be happy that I actually have somewhere to go and that I am not stuck with 100000 kids on a farm. But now I am torn in between. How do you pick from living with awesome people and finding new adventures in life, or going to school (which I want to go for Communications(Broadcasting)/ Journalism-goes with my Audio Engineer Certification). I dont know...so now I shall present you with this....

Going to California?

PROS

-I get to go to school and be a real person.

-A new environment and adventure that I have been looking for.

-Beach!!!!

- I got a partial scholarship.

-I will be surrounded in broadcasting central (more opportunities after graduation)

-It is affiliated with my last school, bachelors in 2 years...Pimp.

CONS

-SCARY.

-6 hour flight.

-I will be away from everyone that I love.

-I run a risk of fucking up.

-If I do fuck up...who do I run to?

-I have less than a week to decide whether I am going.

-My friends probably can't get the awesome place we want.

-Loneliness.

Staying Home?

PROS

-I get to move to Jersey City with my girlies.

-I will be like 30 min from my family.

-Eventually I will got to to school closer to home.

-I won't be alone.

- I get to live in a pimped out house with my girls.

-Eventually I can continue looking for an audio engineer job in the city that I wont hate.

CONS

-What if I get comfortable and dont go to school?

-I don't want to ask, "What if?" if something goes wrong.

-And what if I am still unhappy?

-What if I can't find a job close by?

-I HATE my current job, I really don't want to be here.



So World, what do I do? I am sure god was sick and tired of hearing me complaing and being emo, and said, "You wanna complain? I'll give you something to complain about bitch!" It is sooooo difficult, because either way, my options are awesome, but I just cant weigh them out. I know where my heart is leading towards, but my brain is pointing somewhere else. Until I can come to a conclusion.... I am whipping out my Krazy Glue and making plans of forming Jerseyfornia.